The death of a family pet can be heart-wrenching, whether it was anticipated (as in old age) or a sudden event. That warm nose no longer nuzzles you and the pitter patter of feet on the hardwood floor cannot be heard at 4 AM. You start to say “Let’s go for a walk” and it hits you that there’ll be no more outings. Then that sick-in-your-stomach sensation comes again.
Cassie’s owners asked to incorporate one of her sweaters. They added a personalized pocket to hold her collar.
Your brain is on overload from “how can I possibly go to work tomorrow?” to “what’s the best burial spot?” You berate yourself for just buying another 50-pound bag of food but you really DO know there was no way this could have been foreseen. A flash of “Should I get another dog?” floats through, followed by “No it’s too soon” and swiftly “But how soon is too soon?” Amidst the tears, the choked sobbing of “I’ll never get another pet, ever” it just feels so unfair and sad.
Celebrating Your Pet
Goodbyes are hard. Yet it is important to celebrate the lives of pets who are no longer with us. This might be done through the planting of a tree, the singing of a song, or just sharing those memories. In my personal life and professional career, I found two children’s books especially comforting and helpful for people of all ages. Judith Viorst’s book, The Tenth Good Thing About Barney, explores a child’s sadness about the death of his cat and the special things he remembers about Barney. This technique was one that I used when my children were younger when my parents (who lived across the field/pond from us) died.
Badger’s Parting Gifts by Susan Varley tells the story of Old Badger. When his animal friends discover he is dead (his last note to them: “I’ve gone down the long tunnel”), their sadness is unbearable. Winter leaves them inconsolable in their individual grief. As spring approaches, they gather to share stories of the unique things that Badger taught each of them and remember those as his parting gifts.
It is in the telling of stories and memorable moments that the rich fabric of a life departed (human or pet) is rewoven. Sharing the intersection of that life with yours, that series of snapshots, provides comfort and warmth. In the latter part of my professional career, I sewed the quilt panels created by staff for the clients we lost to HIV/ AIDS. Both the sharing of those stories and the creating of their part of the quilt panel helped me deal with their loss.
Co-creating your Custom Portrait as Part of the Healing
The creation of a pet memorial can be part of that healing process. I often tell prospective customers that I would be honored to create this memorial for their pet, yet in full disclosure, it’s likely that the process will bring tears and remind them of that sadness they felt. I believe that it’s a healthy part of the healing process.
Here’s what some customers have shared with me:
- “I miss him so much but each time I hug his pillow, I feel like here is here”
- “You remember that I told you I would never get another dog again, don’t you? Turns out that finding someone to help me process my grief and your wall hanging of my two boys on the dock was just what I needed. My latest rescue is arriving next month. I’m so excited.”
- “Being able to add Cassie’s sweater and pompoms to the pillow… I can’t thank you enough for letting me and my daughter make so many choices in the creation of this.”
Above is Ben, an “old soul” pictured in the outdoors which he loved.
If you’d like to tell me of the ten good things about your pet, feel free to email me.