What About Me? is one of my artistic responses to the current climate emergency that is facing us. I am not a climatologist like Jake who does climate research and is spending the summer at Evening Song Farm, CSA. (Scroll to end of newsletter). My art isn’t activist in nature. It is simply an attempt to give voice to those creatures whose existence is threatened on a daily basis.
Creation Journey: Her Body
The paper outline of Polar Bear (below) hung in my studio for at least 2 years before I cut my first piece of fabric. In hindsight, some of it was the trepidation of creating such a large art piece. Another part of my hesitation was nervousness of using a new technique. The increase of custom orders and my growing gardening business filled up my time. Yet mostly, I now believe it was that “A REAL Artist Would” gremlin found its way into my studio and made itself very comfortable. Very, very comfortable!
I could only “see” the body of the bear; the sky and ground were not emerging from my imagination to my hands. In fact, they weren’t even in my imagination at all. Yet somehow, I thought I needed to have the whole vision together before I made that first cut.
Eventually I did it. Without knowing what the sky or ground would be, I made that first cut which led to another and another. This white/light cream creature came alive on the white muslin. As you can see in the photo of her face, so many pieces of material were involved in each part of her body. I took artistic liberty by creating her with more white than cream.
Here is the original photo/posterized version, and a face cut and pinned with fabric eyes.
Plodding ahead with creating the bear was uplifting, since the piece was, at least, in process. However, somewhere along the way in one of my impatient/not-thinking-it-through moments, I decided to sew the body to the muslin, leaving room at the edges (of course) for future sky and ground to tuck under.
Feeling so pleased with my progress, I had over half of it sewn down when the realization hit me. I was using my “old” technique of blanket stitch sewing rather than the new technique I wanted to try. To rip it out would have taken days. The tears I would have cried would have prevented me from seeing the white thread on the white fabric. So, after a very deep breath, I continued.
After developing confidence in painting eyes (two years of the #100dayprojectchallenge), I decided to try my hand at polar bear eyes. Much better eyes and nose emerged with the paints. Fabric is fused around the eyeballs. Had this all been planned out to the last detail ahead of time, these eyes would have been resting underneath the surrounding material. There definitely are disadvantages of flying by the “what moves me” approach.
Painted eyes and nose
Creation Journey: The Background
Almost a year later, the background design still hadn’t materialized. I considered a bargello effect with several shades of dark blue, dark lime green and a hint of pink or magenta to call forth the aurora borealis. However, that design might detract from Polar Bear as the focal point. Eventually I just sewed strips of uneven widths, traced and cut out the bear outline and pinned the sky in place.
However, when it was up on the design wall I was left with a flat feeling. There was a dullness about it. However, since I’d cut it to shape, a re-do/ different design was out of question as there wasn’t leftover fabric.
Needless to say, Polar Bear sat on my design wall for another extended period of time until one day glitter tulle came to mind. Most likely, it was after a farm grandchild visit because they both like costumes and sparkles.
Placing the midnight blue tulle on the sky was an immediate eureka. Sewing it down was another bridge to cross … later on down the line.
Tulle is pinned to see the effect. It passed muster.
We’re now up to 2022, 4 years after I first enlarged the picture, 2 years after the first cut. She was still staring at me from her place on the design wall, increasingly perturbed that I’m taking so much time to share her with the world. “What about me?” she would repeat as each custom order took its place beside her and, when completed, left for its home.
My thoughts were like an ice jam. Is she on a tiny bit of floating ice with the sea around her? Or on something larger, that is slowly shrinking? Is the ice completely done in white? Would there be enough contrast to her fur? How do her feet grip the ground? Are her toenails showing? Does she have food next to her?
Again, the final decision about the ice came down to wanting a simple, non-distracting background. The soft blues and whites of the fabrics curve gently under her feet.
The blues and whites of the arctic ice
Creation Journey: Stepping Off the Proverbial Cliff
The next step in the process is quilting. This is where I stepped outside my comfort zone into a completely different world. Over the 16 years of my business, I can count on two hands the times I have quilted either a custom order or for sale piece. If you count adding binding, well that might bring me to 3 hands but it’s definitely not my usual style.
Figuring out how to quilt the tulle sky and what “pattern” would work for the ice had my head spinning. However, achieving an almost perfect “squaring off” of the quilt had me feeling giddy and somewhat courageous. So after more procrastination on my part, I sat down one afternoon to work on the teeniest section under her front legs. That success gave me enough confidence to quilt the rest of the ice which snowballed into quilting the sky (pictures below). Adding the border/ binding was like … well …. it’s just a joyous feeling to have finished the polar bear and be so proud of her.
When I set my Intentions/Goal Words for 2022, one of them was STRETCH. Taking Susan Carlson’s Animal Portrait Fabric Collage class and quilting Polar Bear certainly are solid examples of that intention.
And Now: Telling Her Story
A significant shift has taken place these last two and half years in respect to how I see my art and myself as an artist.
As a result of this, I have redesigned my booth for upcoming in-person shows, adding panel covers to the grid walls… five in pewter and the “Feature Panel” in black.
What About Me? will be my first piece to grace that Featured Panel wall. For all her patience with me throughout the creation process, Polar Bear deserves the honor of going first.
